Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Declaration of Independence..I'm SINGLE!!

No i'm not some anti-men feminist who has been so scarred, abused and confused by men that i've lost all hope and is jaded beyond measure. I've actually enjoyed the few relationships i've had (sans a very scary incident when I was younger with a stalker, but i'll leave that alone...lol).

The point of my declaration is simple - Single is good. Some would say "good for you, but who cares?".....I know I know i'm not trying to convince myself or anyone that it's good, it's just that lately i've been getting that look from my fam and friends when I say i'm not on the market, but i'm single. Almost like i've gotten it wrong, with their facial expressions saying "hmmm....you know u ain't getting no younger gurl!!"

I just can't be assed to deal with any kind of wahala right now. I have always been like this - i get into extreme moods. I can't bloody explain it, it's just the way it is.

Here's my Declaration:
So i've been single for a minute and I have to say i'm getting too used to this. I can't even remember what it feels like to really love somebody else? Since my one true love and I called it quits i've been coasting (2 plus years and counting). Before you think it - no i'm not still in love with him. Not that it's a prize or badge of honour, but I ended our relationship. Yes he did beg and plead, but i'd had enough. I couldn't go back - I just wasn't happy anymore. Yeah there was a rebound or two, but that's exactly what they were.
There was only one person after true love I could have seen something with, but there was still something missing. Or maybe it was me missing something? I still have to keep my eye on him - I like to call him Mr. L. He had a way about him though....I digress....lol!!

I won't say i'm melancholy or jaded about the whole relationship thing - that's not my M.O. at all. I still get emotional when I hear a really sloppy love story or two, but I am convinced there is a time and a place for everything.
Mine is not now - not here, not today and not yet. My friend told me the other day "you are just so chilled it's scary. Isn't there anyone that can ruffle your feathers just a little?" Truth be told there alot of men that can ruffle my feathers, but that's all it'll be. A good night, week or two and i'm bored or irritated or not wanting to deal with their stress. Better put, I like to call it preemptive strike, because I don't even let it get to the point where there's stress.

Oh I'm just a big ol' confused child. I know it's not ideal to be so far off the center, but for now this is where i'm at. I know most importantly that my status is my choice. It's me finding comfort in my own skin and being alright with nights alone watching a good movie. It's not pathetic and it's not lonely. Don't get me wrong it has its moments, but like all things they come and they go. I really see this as a chance to just be - that way if and when the GREAT HE comes along i'll know it's because I love him and not the idea of him.

14 comments:

Jem said...

Interesting stuff .... i like ur blog already. Plus, i see you are a fellow single publicist - one thing we both have in common already.

:) Merry blogging dear, i will be tuning in.
-- www.romanticaffairs.blogspot.com

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Lol.. this one na really Maiden Voyage.. fantastic outlook! luv this writeup.. its always good when you're comfortable with you.. single,dating or married!... I luv your style of writing.. your really good!!

Maiden Voyage said...

@Jem: Thanks hon. Glad to have you stop by. I will definitely be tuning into your blog as well.

@Overwhelmed: Thanks hon!! I am really going off on my own tangents ehn? It's that time year I guess. Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Definitely took me a while to just be. Will definitely try to be as good as you one day (writing that is). Cheers xx

Naijadude said...

U are so on the single ride eh! Really "maiden voyage" Atleast you could do "bad by yourself" and you are mega-comfortable...Couldnt have asked for more...

Nice blog eh! and Keep at it...

Merry Xmas to you!!!

confusednaijagirl said...

its like you write literally from
your emotions, you write what you are really felling. i hope you update us on the stalker you had. LOL

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

Babe i'm awaiting an update oh... Happy New Year luv!

Maiden Voyage said...

@Naijadude: Thanks!! I am riding solo and chilling. Everything has it's moment. Now is my time to enjoy it before the time for relationships begin. Wahala!!lol!!

@confused: stalker update ehn??lol!! Thanks my love for the nice words. I'll see what I can do. Last I heard he was in kirikiri...just joking.

@Overwhelmed: I have been away hon. I am back now, so the updates shall be written soon enough. Thanks ever so much for stopping by. Happy New Year and all that good stuff.

Desola said...

I love you already!

Cherub (former Bijouxoxo) said...

Welcome madam. Interesting blog u have and i'm already loving you from this post. I've been single by choice for 3.5 years now and like u rightly stated it's fun, even though there are moments when u feel "lonely." All in all, i've been able to discover myself and love ME and also develop my relationship with God. It sounds selfish, but it's the truth

Maiden Voyage said...

@Desola: Thanks hon. You're too kind.

@Cherub: Thanks for stopping bye, and thanks for your kind words. It's very necessary to use this time to discover yourself and find peace within. I'm glad your relationship with God has grown and is transcending. I have certainly grown as a person - my confidence is a natural progression of finally allowing myself to just be. Don't get me wrong a great man/partner is a wish of mine, but I hope now I can and will attract such a man. There's no rush on my part. We'll see....God willing.

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